Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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