If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
