plz talk dirty to me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
