Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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