she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
