FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
