so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
