And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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