found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
