Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am one with the molecules
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
