hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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