I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
