you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
