1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize