So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
