you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
