You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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