Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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