Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
