For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
