Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
