Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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