People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
