i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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