if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He felt like a one man threesome
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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