Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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