We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize