he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
