I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
