Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize