All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
