then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
