Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
