Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
