I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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