I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
