Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
