Pappa wants mamma naked
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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