Please, let me fuck your mom
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
