No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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