its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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