Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
