im drinking this country out of the recession.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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