are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize