I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
