How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
