I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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