i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
