Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
