And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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