i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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