they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
