I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
