The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
