Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
