3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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