She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
